They're Actually All Switch Hitters
by GlitterTech
Summary: A baseball game at America's produces some rather unsurprising "confessions." CRACKSHOT.


**Title**: They're Actually All Switch-Hitters

**Author**: TechnoGlitter

**Rating**: T, for implications

**Characters/Pairings**: America, France, Britain, Spain, Canada, Romano, Prussia, China, Russia, Japan, Kumajiro, implied FrUk and Spamano

**Warning**: Implications, swearing, insults aimed at certain Brits and Frenchmen, I mentioned a drug once or twice, I think.

**Disclaimer**: I am not Hima-papa, therefore I do not own Hetalia.

America had invited some other countries to come play baseball at his house because he felt like it. It was his past time, damn it, and he should get to share it with everyone he knew! So after explaining the game and telling Russia and China that, sure, they could bat with their water pipe and wok, America started the game.

It was shit. Absolutely the biggest pile of dog shit America had ever seen. After twenty heart-wrenching minutes of the worst utilization of the sport EVER, he proposed a position switch. They played through another train wreck of a game before America proposed a take-five break and another position switch. And of course, it could have gone politely and quietly, but since there was no such thing as peace with those darn nations, it didn't.

"You suck at pitcher, frog, you can't do anything right! Seriously, do you even know what you're doing? Your aim SUCKS! Are you _trying_ to hit me with your balls?" The two blonde Europeans were still at home base and the pitcher's mound, yelling across the distance at each other.

"Ha! And you think you're one to talk, _Angleterre_? You are not worth catching for, you be catcher. You act all bored and uncaring, but I know you're just dying for it. A taste of what I can give you."

"I'm an amazing pitcher, and you know it! You just suck at catching because you don't want to, so I come out on top!"

"Tch, just because you think you are a god at the game (I'm obviously the god of the game here), it doesn't mean you aaaaaaare…" France and Britain were now toe-to-toe, getting way uglier with them fightin' words.

"Well, you know what? You can't even get past third base without wussing out or fainting!" Britain shouted, spit flying.

"Oh sure, you can get all the way home, but it's so sloppy you must stop to wonder if anyone even found it fulfilling," France said calmly, wiping the British saliva from his face.

"You've never even made it home!"

France gasped over-dramatically at this point. "I'll have you know I've gotten home runs many, many times before."

"What, you mean you've done this with America before?"

"And Canada. And a handful of other Europeans too. Actually, everybody in Europe except YOU."

"Why wasn't I invited?"

"Obviously you lacked the talents we needed at the time. Aw, is someone getting _jealous_...?"

Britain spluttered and blushed profusely. "W-why would I be jealous of you and America? It's not like I've always wanted to do this with him..."

"OH GOD, you are so pathetic."

"Stop with the stalling, you snail-sucking bearded bastard, just get down and catch already!"

"No you!"

"I won't, you!"

"You would be way better!"

"I must insist that you do!"

"My pitching skills would be wasted, you catch!" Unbeknown to the fighting men, America, Romano and Prussia were devolving into fits of giggles over by the refreshments table, snorting loudly into their cups of Gatorade/Power Ade/Red Bull/Monster/Something That May Have Been Liquefied Crack Cocaine.

"_Amigos y __mi __pequeño tomate, _what's with all the giggling? It's a nice day, but I don't' see anything too funny," Spain laughed, oblivious to the world around him as usual. China, Russia and Japan stood around looking uncomfortable and/or confused. Canada was… somewhere, and the way Kumajiro was floating a foot off the ground was getting really freaky.

"Oh, nothing really, it's just that-" Romano giggled,

"You know when they get home tonight,-" America chuckled,

"They'll have the exact same argument!" Prussia cackled, the liquid flying out of his cup as he fell to the ground laughing, quickly followed by the other two. The other countries could only stare oddly and muse that the Italian, American and Prussian had odd senses of humor.

Í LOK

_A.N. I tried, I really did! I fail OTL. By the way, Britain totally wins the argument. Because I love it when he does._


End file.
